What is REALLY important?

The hubby and I watched "Angels and Demons" late last night. I realize this is a controversial film among the "Christian" community, but it got my thought processes going and sparked a very interesting conversation that lasted most of the night in the form of pillow talk for us.

I got to thinking about the differences in beliefs among different denominations of "Christians". I mean, I may not AGREE with all of the core beliefs of Catholicism, but does that mean that Catholics aren't Christians? Are they going to hell because they don't interpret the Bible the way I do? Are Baptists going to Hell because they don't believe you can "lose" your salvation? Are Methodists going to Hell because they believe you CAN lose your salvation? Are Mormons going to Hell because of what they believe? These are things you'll have to answer for yourself. I'm not interjecting any of my opinions into those topics. Seriously... is all of this really IMPORTANT?

Here's where I'm going with this though. What is that God expects of us? Does He expect us to really sit and hash out these differences of opinion amongst one another? I personally LOATHE religion. And, to be perfectly honest, Christianity IS a religion. It's no different than Catholicism, Mormonism, etc in that sense. It is guided by a set of Divinely inspired but man enforced rules and guidelines. In lieu of being called a "Christian", I think I prefer to simply be called a child of God.

Why did God create us? What was His motivation behind suddenly, after how many gazillion bazillion years, did He decide that He wanted to create this planet, and these people? I like to think that maybe, just maybe, He might have been lonely? I mean, yes, He had the hosts of angels, and the Son and Holy Spirit... but how long is talking to yourself fun? LOL! (God also has a sense of humor, ok! Look around you!) I like to think that He longed for companionship outside of His immediate surroundings. He *IS* a relational God. How did He know that when He created man, that man needed companionship? If He had never known that loneliness, then how did He know man would experience it? He DID create us after His own image! So... now that I've worked through that train of thought for you... on to my main point...

What is it that God REALLY wants from us? Does He want us to debate on and spend so much time trying to come up with and argue "doctrine"? Or does He simply want us to: 1. Acknowledge that He is God, the ALMIGHTY creator of Heaven and Earth.
2. Understand that He exists Omnipotently as 3 parts: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. The Father, who created us, and loves us unconditionally. God the Son, who took on flesh, and came to earth, and died a horrible, painful death to pay the price for our sins, take the keys of hell, and make a way for us to go to Heaven through His sacrifice. And, God the Holy Spirit, who lives within us, convicting us, guiding us, and urging us onward in the way of the Cross.
3. Understand that the ONLY way to Heaven is through the acceptance of Christ's sacrifice. To acknowledge that we are sinners, and no one enters the gates of Heaven without repenting their sins and accepting His gift of salvation. Works do not save you, but accepting Christ does.
4. That while works do not save you, if you have accepted Christ as your personal savior, then you will want to live a pure and Holy life that would make your "Daddy" proud :)

But, most importantly... I believe with all my heart, that while all of these things are critical to being a blood bought child of God... above all else, He wants us to have a RELATIONSHIP with Him. He wants us to fall in love with Him. He wants us to forsake ourselves, give Him all of who we are, and LOVE HIM like He loves us! If we follow that firstly, then all the rest will just follow. He knows our heart. He knows our emotions. He knows our trials. What He wants is for us to love Him enough to trust Him with those things. And to share His love with those we come in contact with. There is no better witness to the unsaved than to simply show them the love of God. If you truly are in a close, loving relationship with your "Daddy", then His love will shine through you onto those you come into contact with, and they WILL notice. We "Christians" just spend too much time worrying about all of the little silly things, and not enough time with our Daddy, taking in all that He has for us. To spend time seeking His guidance through the reading of His word (I'm SUPER guilty of not doing this!), to spend time on our face in absolute awe and adoration of His mighty power and love, and to spend time just talking to Him. Getting to know Him :) Crawl up in His lap and sit a while :) You won't be disappointed!

This entire process was encouraged on by a song by Jason Gray called "More Like Falling In Love". Below are the lyrics to this song. I encourage purchasing his album :) I absolutely LOVE every single song on this album!

"More Like Falling In Love"
Artist: Jason Gray

Give me rules
I will break them
Give me lines
I will cross them
I need more than a truth to believe
I need a truth that lives, moves, and breathes
To sweep me off my feet
It ought to be

More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, oh
It's like I'm falling in love

Give me words
I'll misuse them
Obligations
I'll misplace them
'Cause all religion ever made of me
Was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet
It never set me free
It's gotta be

CHORUS

...It's like I'm falling in love, love, love
Deeper and deeper
It was love that made
Me a believer
In more than a name, a faith, a creed
Falling in love with Jesus brought the change in me

CHORUS

By: Jason Gray and Jason Ingram

What's on YOUR Walls?

So, once again I find myself with a two year old in the house. I remember JRay as a two year old. The WHITE quilt I sleep with still bears the marks of his toddlerhood, from the time he got hold of some colored Sharpies. This is my grandmother's quilt, so I have been broken-hearted for years over him "ruining" it. Nate LOVES to draw. He's quite the little artist. Both of my boys seem to have inherited their Mommy's creativity. So, of course, along with this comes crayon art on my white walls. When JRay was a toddler, I freaked out and cleaned them off with the ever famous Magic Eraser. But with Nate, it hasn't bothered me so much. Obviously, life has a lot to do with that. I learned the first time that it does no good to rush to wash them off the walls immediately, because then that just creates a clean canvas for them to start over ;)

But, tonight, as I was doing my business in the bathroom (yep-TMI, I know, deal with it!), I noticed the bathtub crayons sitting there begging to be used. I was bored, didn't take a book with me, and my Blackberry did me no good because Facebook wasn't moving. I picked up the orange one and wrote my name on the rim of the bathtub. Cool. I actually sat there and admired my decent attempt at handwriting for a moment. then I looked at the boring white light switch cover and though "Hmmmmmm... I could totally spruce that up". So, I drew a sun in the corner. Then I added some grass, colored in a beautiful blue sky, smudged in some clouds, and drew 2 flowers over the light switches. Not gallery quality, but I'm proud enough of it to leave it there :)

That got me to thinking. Why do we have to have clean white walls? What's wrong with 2 year old masterpieces? I mean, white walls are boring! Why do we stress so much over a few crayon marks (or if you live in my house, crayon, marker, pencil, and who knows what else)on an otherwise very uninteresting wall? I think I would much prefer to look at my children's artwork than nothing! After all, this is their expression of how they see the world, is it not? By golly, it might not look like a kitty cat to me, but if he says it's a kitty cat, who am I to say it's not?

I think maybe this is how God looks at our hearts. Do we really think he cares if our hearts are white and boring? They don't have to be white and boring to be pure. He loves everything about us. Those crayon marks are masterpieces to Him. After all, He DID create us. And while we are not perfect, I would bet He's pretty proud of His creation :) Looking at the crayon masterpieces on my walls only reminds me even more of God's beauty, because it's through the eyes of a child we see the world for what it really is. A gift from our Heavenly Father! Now, when I look at my beautiful dutch boy/girl white quilt with marker "stains"... I no longer see stains. I see a gift from my beautiful son that has lasted 7 years so far, and will be there forever to remind me of how much he loves me!

So-what's on YOUR walls?

Decisions

So, it has come to my attention that certain people in our lives aren't happy with our decision to homeschool JRay. I'm going to be blunt here... so put your big boy/girl pants/panties on, ok?

This is OUR decision. Just like it was our decision to get married, and it was our decision to have a baby. It has always been OUR decision. We've always dealt with the ridicule from certain people in our lives that we have never been able to "please" with our decisions. It seems that for some people, no matter what we do, you just don't approve. I'm sorry to be such a disappointment to you. But, I am very proud of my marriage, my children, and I know that I will be proud of my decision to homeschool. I want to educate my son in a Christian environment where I am in control of what he learns, and how he learns it. The school system is failing him DRASTICALLY. My very intelligent, "A" student is bringing home C's and D's in his best subjects. And then I get notes from the teacher saying that ALL of her "A" students are doing the same. Yet, she refuses to acknowledge the obvious. If ALL of your "A" students are doing poorly, it's quite obvious you're doing a poor job of teaching them. I am confident in my abilities to be a good teacher to my children. Just as I was confident in my abilities to be a good wife to my husband (the one who LOVES me and WANTED to marry me-even when my own family chose to make it clear they did not approve), to be a good mother to the children I chose to bear (even though my family was clear that they didn't think I should have more children because of things they knew very little of the truth about), and continue to be a good daughter and sister to those who continue to make it clear that I disappoint them. I love you all, but this is OUR decision. Not yours. You can choose to trust me, and support us, or you may continue to not trust me AGAIN, and allow me to prove you wrong AGAIN. It's up to you. I really hope that you'll choose to learn from your past mistakes of not trusting me and my ability to make the best decisions for my family.

Love Thy Neighbor?

God's really dealing with me on some things, so I thought I would click it away here and talk about it with my friends :) 1 John 4:7 says "Dear friends, let us love one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God" (HCSB). So how far does love take us? Can we love someone, and even forgive them, without allowing them to be a part of our lives? If that someone has time and time again intentionally hurt us or wronged us, do we have to continue subjecting ourselves to such harshness in the name of love? Isn't it possible to love one another without liking one another?

James 4:6-"But He gives greater grace. Therefore He says: God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble" (HCSB). So if He resists those who are proud (which is a source of causing pain to others), shouldn't we be allowed to? Can we not love them while avoiding them? I know we should trust in God, and His magnificent grace, to overcome the pain that they cause, but should we continually be forced to expose ourselves to their hurtful words and ways? Especially when they are completely unapologetic of the pain they cause us, and basically refuse to accept that they have been hurtful to us?

So, tell me what you think? I mean, don't give me "Christ suffered for you" or "His grace is sufficient". I want to know what the Bible says about taking ourselves out of hurtful situations. Choosing not to have someone in your life doesn't mean you don't love them. Maybe it does mean you don't forgive them, but when you forgive them time and time again for the same thing, do you have to continue subjecting yourself to the pain? ESPECIALLY when those people are supposed to be brothers and sisters in Christ?

Is Santa Coming to Town?

There have been a lot of discussions lately revolving around whether it is right or wrong to "play Santa" as a Christian. While I am NOT going to jump into whether it is or is not, I am going to share with you what I have been considering, and the decision PJ and I have come to on this subject.

Who is Santa? Santa Claus is a fictional character. There's nothing wrong with fiction. It encourages our children's imaginations, and builds their creative skills, which are very useful later in life :)I know what you're saying, "Santa Claus was real". Ok, no, he wasn't. However, Saint Nicholas was real. He was a great man who did wonderful things for the people of his village. He is a great example of Christian love to our children. So, what should you do? Only you can decide that.

We have decided that we will not play Santa in our home with Nate. It was done with JRay, and he figured out the truth on his own, and was not hurt that we "lied" to him, or anything of the sort. So, again, I'm not saying it's wrong to play Santa. What we have prayed over, and decided to do, is to let Nate play along in all of the Santa fun, but teach him that Santa is just a man in a suit, and the "actual" Santa Claus is not real. We will teach him the story of Saint Nicholas, and explain to him how God can use people to help others and change the lives of others, but it is ultimately God who is in control. On Christmas morning, we will have a birthday party to celebrate Jesus's birthday. And, we will have a cake, and ice cream maybe, and we will allow the children to open a couple of gifts from us and one another. And, while they're doing this, we will teach them about God's gift to us through Jesus. How Jesus was our gift from God, and about the gift Jesus would later give us in eternal life.

Now, from that, we move onto the Christmas tree. So many people say I am a hypocrite if I want to exclude Santa, and still have a tree. After all, it's "Pagan". Yes, the Christmas tree has Pagan origins, BUT, that was in celebration of Winter Solstice. We're not celebrating Winter Solstice. We are celebrating Christmas. To me, the Christmas tree symbolizes the gift of eternal life Christ gives us. The evergreen tree lives all year, and never dies (unless you cut it down, and even then, its stump will regenerate a NEW tree). What better example of Jesus Christ?! When all other trees die in winter, the evergreen stands tall and strong, and is still there as green as it was come Spring! Decorating this tree symbolizes the beauty that Christ brings to our lives! The lights that shine bright symbolize Christ's love, that we should be carrying to a dark and dying world! At Christmas time, as symbol of this, I leave my Christmas lights on 24/7. I do not turn them off when we go to bed. When I wake up during the night, I see the glow coming from the living room, and am immediately reminded of God's everlasting love, that never dims or goes away! How beautiful an image is that?!

So, anyway... this isn't a "holier than thou, if you don't do it my way you're a sinner" post. It's sharing with you how we came to the decisions of celebrating Christmas the way we do. I feel that in this dying world, Christians are constantly under attack. Christmas is no longer Christmas... It's "Holidays" and "X-Mas", essentially removing Christ from the spirit of the holiday, and turning it into a commercial circus to emphasize buying one another's love. Jesus already paid that price. All we need to do is accept it! So I feel that it is more important to emphasize the gift that God gave us in His son, and concentrating on keeping the CHRIST in Christmas. And while I do not believe that it is wrong to play Santa, I feel that it is just more important for my family, per my own convictions (well, mine and PJ's), to concentrate on remembering the REAL reason for this season, and teaching our children to stand on what is REAL, and to not give in to the world's attempts to remove Christ from the holiday all together :)

Where Will You Run?

By Your Side
by Tenth Avenue North


Why are you striving these days?
Why are you trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying?
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love?
Why are you still searching?
As if I'm not enough?
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run?
To where will you run?

I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
Please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands at my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life

Here at my side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
Please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

And I, I love you
And I want you to know
That I, I'll love you
I'll never let you go

2008 Essential Tunes / West Main Music / Formerly Music (SESAC)

This song says so much about our Heavenly Father's love for us. He WANTS to carry us. He WANTS to have a relationship with us. He wants you to accept His gift of salvation! His gift of LIFE! Won't you stop searching today, and accept His love? You won't regret it! I promise!

Joy and Peace, Strength and Hope...

Jesus What a Beautiful Name - Darlene Zschech

Grace that blows all fear away! Jesus, what a beautiful name :)

So I have disappeared from the blog spectrum, obviously. I've been periodically updating my photoblog, but have neglected my readers here. So much has gone on since my last post. I'll do a QUICK summation, then get on to my point of this post :)

PJ lost his job 2 days before they were supposed to hire him on. Yep. They did us that way. I've been dealing with severe depression. All of the normal health issues, we're broke, no money to pay our bills, no job in sight after TONS of applications filled out, among many many other "grievances" that I won't mention.

But ya know what? No storm is too big for my God :)

Tonight, I was sitting here, my heart so incredibly heavy, as usual fighting the depression that has crippled my soul for so long. For a year and a half, since my sweet Mommy went to her REAL home in Glory, I've allowed fear, anger, and depression to pull me into the depths of a place I hope to never find again. I found myself bitter, angry, tired, and just UNHAPPY. I've tried to "let go and let God"... but every time I've tried it, I've held onto just a small piece. I've wanted Him to carry me, but every time I tried, I kept gripping onto that leash that is sadness. I was afraid to trust Him again. I trusted Him so wholly before (or so I thought), and He allowed me to be hurt so deeply.

But tonight... as I was sitting here, thinking of the day that she went home... and again torturing myself with the memories of that horrible day... I posted a message on Facebook, and asked my friends and family to say a prayer for me. I was tired of fighting this battle alone. I WANTED to give it to Him, and let Him HAVE it. But I sat here a few minutes, and this voice whispered to me "Brooke... you keep asking others to pray for you to lean on Me, but you haven't asked me to carry you, to truly carry you". And it just hit me... wow, all this time I've been CLAIMING to give it to Him, but really, I wasn't. I was continuing to push Him away... to "handle this myself". (I've never denied I have quite a stubborn streak!). So in that moment of realization, I answered that voice "Take it. It's yours. Please, just take it, I don't want this burden anymore, take it all". And I LET GO OF IT. COMPLETELY. And, in that same moment, I could breathe again. This ginormous weight lifted OUT of my chest, and I CAN BREATHE. I can finally REST in the arms of the ALMIGHTY. I have a joy, and peace, and strength, and HOPE... and He gives me GRACE that blows ALL fears away. Jesus.... it really is a beautiful name :)