Monday, November 24, 2008

Heart of Thanksgiving

I've had some time to think on Thanksgiving. Obviously, with the loss of Momma this year, I was not really in the "mood" for Thanksgiving, and was dreading Christmas. But, I went to Brent's church yesterday, and his message made so much sense to me. God used my own brother, who is going through the same emotions I"m feeling, to help me to see just what I DO have to be thankful for.

Yes, I'm sad. I'm angry at times. I want my Momma back. But-there's no doubt about, I am loved. Not only by much church family, and my immediate family. I have come to realize how much I am loved by my extended family. My precious in-laws have been there for us time and time again. And while I loved them, and was grateful for their help, I wasn't grateful for THEM. God opened my eyes this weekend to see that I have so much to be grateful for. Instead of feeling deprived of my Momma, I'm so grateful that she is no longer in pain, she is with our Savior. She is singing, and dancing, and praising Him with no hurt, no health issues, NO STRESS. She has nothing to worry about anymore. I have my wonderful husband, who despite my moodiness, my depression, my incessant fits about not understanding why life is the way it is, loves me. He cares for me. He takes care of me. I love you PJ, and I am VERY grateful for YOU. I have two amazing boys. I get upset so often that I can not have more children, but instead it's time I realize just HOW BLESSED I am to have 2 healthy, loving, smart, and just BEAUTIFUL children, who love me no matter what. Who look at me through eyes unclouded with judgement. They love me just as much when I punish them as they do when I smother them with kisses! I love you Justin and Nate, and I am SO GRATEFUL for you! I have come to realize that instead of being angry with my Daddy for remarrying so quickly after Momma's death, I'm indeed grateful that he has been able to find happiness again. I"m still dealing with this area, but God is bringing me through it. And I love my Daddy, and Karen, and am grateful for them both. I have a home, I have heat, I have food, and I have clothing. None of them are high class, or even GOOD by most standards. But, they are much better than sleeping under the bridge with nothing more than the clothes on my back and the tent or box that I sleep in. I am grateful for my home, in spite of how small and run down it might be. I have a car to get me to where I need to go. It might be old, it might be falling apart as well, but, it gets me there. I do not have to walk or ride a bike to where I need to go.

And, last, but most importantly, I have breath. Goodness knows my health is not good by any means. I get so disgusted with having to do all the insulin and watching what I eat, the nerve damage, the painful arthritis in my spine and joints. But, I am breathing. I am here, spending another minute with all those previously mentioned. I am not bedridden. I am not in a coma. I am not in a wheelchair, or have anything that prevents my activities. I might be limitied in my activities, but I am not prevented. For that, I am grateful!

I have A LOT to be grateful for! I bet if you really look deep, you'll find a lot too :) Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Please remember that no matter how difficult your life is, someone out there has it worse.

And I'll end with a slideshow of the boys' Christmas pics. There were many more, of course, but there were, in my opinion, the best :) JRay did so awesome!!!!

Monday, November 3, 2008

Rather Entertaining thoughts...

So, I have just heard some rather amusing news. Computer Support Systems (PJ's ridiculous previous employer) is now suing S3 Integration (PJ's most recent previous employer, that he was just let go from on Wed)for nonpayment of approximately $40,000. Does anyone else find this as hilariously amusing as I do? What goes around comes around people. This is a prime example. It's a circle of dishonesty and greed, on both sides.

My Crazy Life

My photo
I am a Christian wife and homeschooling mom of two precious boys. I enjoy photography and spending time with my family, along with any other hobby I can manage to dig my nails into. I'm married to PJ, God's precious gift to me ;) I'm honest, passionate, and find myself falling deeper and deeper in love with my Creator each and every day that passes. I was diagnosed as a Type 1 Diabetic at the age of 10. I chose not to care about my health then, and am paying the price now with multiple complications including kidney damage and neuropathy. I currently reside in Florida, where God led my family in February of 2011, but my heart is, and will forever be, in Alabama.