Friday, June 20, 2008

Gallbladder schmallbladder

So, I'm home after a long 3 days in the hospital. Tuesday I went out and ran some errands with Dad, and he treated Nate and I to breakfast for lunch at Cracker Barrel. I had a yummy country friend steak and eggs. Came home, started hurting in my right side (I've had these flare ups before, going back as far as October). I put Nate down for a nap, and took one myself. Woke up, thought I was feeling better, then after I got to moving around I got really nauseous and started vomiting. I was in AGONY. So, the decision was made that PJ would take me to the ER when he got home from work. I think we finally got there around 6 pm. They were backed up, so I was going to be waiting a while. Lucky for me (insert sarcastic tone here) my sugar started bottoming out while in the waiting room. So, they moved me back into a bed in the hall and got an IV going and pushed some D50 and did the labwork. Came back with some enzymes high and my white count was over 11000. They decide it's most likely my gallbladder, and since I was so sick they go ahead and admit me to keep me on fluids. So, wed morning, they come take me to ultrasound. I get back, get stuck 5 gazillion times because my line had infiltrated. I was in TEARS by the end of it. I have been a diabetic for 17 years, so needles just don't bother me. So for me to be in tears over getting an IV placed, you better believe I"ve had enough. They finally ge a yucky puny one in, and surgery to remove my gallbladder is scheduled for 4:30. I was told that they may also need to run a scope downt he next day to check for gallstones in my ducts. Yipeee, more tests. Anyway, the line they got in wasn't good enough for the operation, so they had to redo it once I got downstairs. I got stuck another 2 times to get that one, but at least he numbed it first. I go to the OR, am being prepped, dose off into sleepy land, and wake up sitting up in the OR with vomit all over me and still coming out of me. YUM! They were SUPPOSED to push some Reglan and Pepcid in my line before surgery, but the nurses on the floor didn't, and they said it was too late once I got to the OR. So I find out after the fact that my gallbladder was so bad, it actually had gangrene in a good part of it, and he came out with a handful of gallstones. I stayed in the hospital overnight on antibiotics and came home this morning. Now I have all these staples in my stomach that I was told by the doc to come in and get out in a week, but his office tells me they can't get me in before July 1!!!! Not to mention he sent me home with a script for Vicodin, after I'd had him change me over to Mepergan yesterday ebcause I can't take those things. And his office tells me that he's already gone (and will be gone until next friday, which I already knew) and he won't change it, he only gives Vicodin for at home! Just my luck. No pain meds. Lucky for me I still have some Mepergan left over from my Csection.

So thanks for all the prayers, calls, emails, etc. Please continue to pray for me. I am REALLY sore and just drained, and this whole low fat diet thing, while good for me, is going to be a challenge to figure out!

Thank you Mom for staying with me Wed night and taking care of me. It meant SO much more than you'll ever know. Not having my Mommy there was so difficult, because she was ALWAYS there, but you really helped to fill that void, and I realize how much you really do love and care for me now! I LOVE YOU!

Thank you Aunt NiNi and Uncle Craig for watching Naynay so PJ could stay with me last night. I know it wasn't the best of "times" for ya'll, but you did it anyway, and I'm so very grateful! I love ya'll too!

Thank you Tracy for keeping JRay all week :) I know he's in good hands when he's in you. I'm grateful he has a stepmom who loves him so much! Love you too!

And for your disgusting enjoyment, a pic of my incisions. 4 incisions and a drain site. YUM! (stretch marks anyone?!)
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Saturday, June 14, 2008

One Month.

That's how long it's been since Momma took her final breath. One month today. Wow. In one breath, it feels like it just happened, because you know time has stopped since she died. It can't go on. It's not allowed. But then, in the breath in my other lung, it feels like it's been an eternity. It's been forever since I saw her beautiful face, and had her coming over to eat a BBQ sandwhich (yep, that's what we had for dinner the night before she died. Ironic, huh?), and when she found out there was no slaw for it, had a frozen pizza instead.

It's been a busy month. Both of my kids have had birthdays (JRay's was yesterday-the big 8 now), the visitation, funeral, headstone, Dad accepted the pastor position of a little church in Hartselle that is about a year old, I've been getting things ready for college registration, JRay got his cast off... I could go on. It's like in our hearts, time stopped, but the reality is it didn't. And that angers me. It's supposed to! Doesn't everyone know that they're not allowed to continue their life like nothing has happened? One of the most beautiful mothers/wives/sisters/aunts/everything to everyone has gone Home to be with Jesus. Yes, that's a beautiful thing in itself. It really is, and I take great peace and even sometimes joy in knowing that Momma is face to face with our Savior now. Even though we as Christians know that not even she deserves that, I feel like she does. I mean, she's Momma. Over 27 years, her pedestal has only gotten taller.

Thank you Heavenly Father, for allowing me to spend 27 AMAZING years with the best mother You ever put on this Earth, hands down. I definitely didn't deserve her, and I"ll take the liberty to say that I'm sure my brothers feel the same. Please, God, let her know how much I love her and miss her. And tell her that one day soon (seeing as how time in Heaven is much longer than time down here!) I'll be joining her. Oh, and tell her that now I actually LIKE pandas :) Yep... maybe I'll start doing my house in pandas now :) Purple is quickly becoming my favorite color, also.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Goodbye CSS

I haven't been posting this publically, because I didn't want it to get into the wrong eyes yet, but I"m beyond caring at this point. I must "gloat".

GOODBYE CSS ( Computer Support Systems )! PJ is now working for S3 Integrations. He started yesterday. PJ was sent home from work at CSS on Tuesday with no work, and S3I called later that morning, by lunch we were hired and he was scheduled to start the next day. He started out making approx $3 more an hour more. As soon as they finish the job they are on now, and start a big new contract, he will be officially hired on full time and will be making approximately $8-10 more an hour :) AND he'll have a company van, so that I won't have to drag the kids out at the crack of dawn anymore to take him to work since we only have one vehicle. Now, PJ worked alongside S3I several months ago while working a job for CSS. They loved the work he did, and even trained him to do their work some back then in preparation, so he was doing his job and helping them do theirs.

So, we had been keeping it quiet because PJ hasn't "quit" CSS yet, since we won't have insurance until he gets hired on full time. But today, PJ found out that he has been suspended since Tuesday! Someone ratted on him for driving the work van home Monday night, and after he left work Tuesday morning, the owner told his coordinator to suspend him. And he found out TODAY! He thought they just didn't have any work for him to come in, which was working for us LOL. Well, I find this whole thing rather amusing. Something so petty with the work he has done for them since October of 2006 for practically no pay, overpriced health insurance that eats up half the paycheck, and crummy treatment. I mean, I think at last count (I quit counting months ago) CSS had shorted us approximately $600 in wages. Yep, you heard me right. But there was never a paper trail to do anything about it. It always ended up as PJ's fault, when in reality it was management's fault. His first coordinator did NOTHING. I mean it. He came in (sometimes), sat at his desk, and did nothing all day, while people in his crew should've been supervisors, but instead were dumped on and paid and treated as poorly as PJ, did everything for him. (I'm really enjoying airing CSS's dirty laundry now that I can, for all the stress they've put me under the last year and a half). So anyway, yeah, he's suspended yesterday, today, and tomorrow. WOOHOO!

Then, today, we have found out from in company "gossip" that it's likely CSS is going under. They have lost most of their out of town (insert big bank name here) contracts, and are likely losing their B'ham work that has kept them so busy. To whom? A company they've already lost employees to, that was struggling, and an underdog company who's been around a few years, but had only little jobs.

So, there's always that chance that S3I isn't what we expected, since CSS was made out to be so wonderful at first, but it honestly can't get any worse!

Guess what CSS? What goes around comes around. It's your turn :) CIAO!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Bittersweet.

So, I just found out a little bit ago from an email from a friend (thanks Pam) that Mom's headstone was placed today. It really brings a range of emotions to the surface. I miss her so much. Every day that goes by finds me missing her so much more than the last. This is somewhat of a relief, because it makes her grave less bare. But then, on the other hand, I want it to be EMPTY, so bare seems more empty.

I find myself feeling so "excluded" from the family lately. I dunno, it's silly, I know. I just feel like my "connection" to the family died with Mom. Given me and my sisters in law seem to be closer (I know it's because dear sweet Monica and Lytha are reaching out to me), I just feel like a 3rd wheel with Dad and my brothers. I know they love me. I guess it's maybe because Me and Mom had that "woman" connection, whereas Dad and the boys have that "Man" connection. I don't know. I mean, it's just silly, but I still feel it. I was so anxious to call Dad and let him know when I found out about the headstone, then I find out him, and both boys have been or were at the grave already when I found out. I know they're not excluding me (I love ya'll Craig, Brent, and Dad, you know that, I don't feel that way, honestly) I guess, like I said, I just feel like the odd one out now.

Momma was my 2nd best friend in this world (PJ my first of course). I mean, there was NEVER a time in my life when I needed her that she wasn't there for me. Now, the time when I need her most, well, she can't be. Every day that goes by that something reminds me of her, and that phone doesn't ring with her number on the caller id, oh it hurts so bad. I mean, when Daddy calls me, I almost fool myself into believe it's going to be her on the other end. I have so many people around me for support, but I feel so alone. How can that be?

Momma, if you can hear my heart or my thoughts, I miss you so much. I love you SO MUCH. Too many times we didn't say it. We didn't NEED to, because we KNEW it. But I do, I'm saying it. I LOVE YOU! And I miss you so much. I wouldn't wish you out of Heaven for anything, but I just wish I could have just one more day with you. Even one more hour. To tell you how much I love you. And to hug you, and to kiss you, and spend every waking second with you.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

For Momma

Momma

You lived your life
Inside a shell
So afraid to chance
But never afraid to help

So many times
You held tight to the wall
Not afraid to climb
But yet afraid to fall

So many people
Waiting in line
So many lives touched
In your short lived life

You spent your life
Never afraid to love
You gave more than all
With your gift from Above

That gift, of pure Love
And of unending compassion
So weak in your own eyes
But to so many a blessing

How many times have I heard
“Your Mom was amazing”
From strangers unknown
“She was so full of compassion”

Oh how my heart aches
To see you again
To talk on the phone
With my best of friends

Dance and sing, Momma!
Because now, you can
But go easy on Heaven
Don’t change it too much
I don’t think that’s God’s plan!

Those pearly white gates
Well, they’ll probably be purple!
But one day I’ll enter them
And spend eternity with you
And a few million pandas!

© Brooke Stover McIntire June 7, 2008
In Memory of “Momma” Shelia Diana Stover April 11, 1955-May 14, 2008

Friday, June 6, 2008

Family Pics At last!

Yep, I finally did it. Finally broke down and took some family pics for Father's Day. Also took JRay's 8 year old pics since his 8th Birthday is one week away.

Here we go!

These are the "good" ones of MANY. Lots of SILLY ones. I mean, I'm surrounded by silly around here.

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Brothers? Ya think?!

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And my soon to be handsome 8 year old. WOW. 8. That's such a big number.

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Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Welcome back curls!

So, Nate's curls are coming back :) YAY! I'm so excited. He had the CURLIEST little locks when he was born. Then all the side hair fell out, and the top just turned into one big mohawk/curl. Now the ends are starting to curl, and I'm seeing some red in there now as well :) He REALLLLLY looks like Papa some days! He's SO full of life. Always playing. This kid lives to PLAY. Makes me think of the old Mike Warnke bit about his son. "Play, play play play, I MUST PLAY!!!!!" He loves to look at Daddy, giggle, and take off crawling while giggling hysterically, in hopes that Daddy will get down on all fours and chase him! He is doing it to Papa now, too. It's precious.

Uncle Craig got to babysit today for the first time. I had an appointment at the Spine Center in Huntsville, and because of some recent sugar issues, I was afraid to drive myself that far, so I had Dad take me. Uncle Craig told PJ when he got home that he was the easiest baby he'd ever seen. Said he just played in the floor while he sat there. What Uncle Craig doesn't notice is that I have the living room completely baby proofed LOL. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not typically the kind of parent to "put stuff up". But with this one, it's either take away the temptation, or spend EVERY second of the day saying "NO" and smacking hands. I prefer to be able to turn my head for 2 seconds, thanks :) But yeah, he is a good baby for the most part. Except when he's sleepy (which he USUALLY fights), then he becomes Satan's spawn! I'll have to let Uncle Craig watch him on one of those days! Love you Craig!

SO yeah, I went to the spine doctor today. Didn't really find out much yet, since we need to do an MRI. But, he made remarks along the lines of (insert long dx name here that I can't remember), probably some damage to something (didn't catch that part either). Made comments about having a small child, and asking if I had family around to help, which gives me the idea he's thinking surgery is a possibility. He thinks my neck pain is arthritis, and said that we need to take care of the back first, then we'll start exercises/therapy to help with that. I was pretty sure of that one already, anyway. Mom had bad arthritis in her neck, and when I described my pain to her, she said it was the same as hers. So I'm just waiting on them to get approval from BCBS AL for my MRI and set it up for me. Then I'll go back and find out more. I go to my new GP for a follow up from all my lab work tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to that. I know my A1C isn't going to be where it should. But, I'm determined to change that. Losing Mom really has opened my eyes to the importance of all this. I don't want my kids being in their 20's and not having a mom anymore. At the rate I'm going, I won't make it as long as Mom did. Time to make changes. So anyway, just keep me in your prayers, and I"ll update as I can.

Here are a few cute pics of the boys :) Enjoy!

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My Crazy Life

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I am a Christian wife and homeschooling mom of two precious boys. I enjoy photography and spending time with my family, along with any other hobby I can manage to dig my nails into. I'm married to PJ, God's precious gift to me ;) I'm honest, passionate, and find myself falling deeper and deeper in love with my Creator each and every day that passes. I was diagnosed as a Type 1 Diabetic at the age of 10. I chose not to care about my health then, and am paying the price now with multiple complications including kidney damage and neuropathy. I currently reside in Florida, where God led my family in February of 2011, but my heart is, and will forever be, in Alabama.