Love and Patience

So, I've really struggled with my patience lately. I have also come to realize that with that, has come a struggle within myself to love as God has commanded me to love. I've been very intolerant of people who do things I don't agree with. I have been very intolerant of my son's school and teacher. Intolerant of my husband's employer. Intolerant of so many things. It seems today, as we were sitting in Sunday school, it occurred to me that if God were anywhere nearly as intolerant of me as I am others, then I would be a total wreck at this point. I mean, He provided PJ a job when he needed it. He has always provided our needs with his low paying job so that I don't have to leave our children and work, and when we needed a vehicle, He provided it. So why is it I'm always so impatient and unhappy with God's way? He is not going to let us down. He never has, and He never will. Yes, we hate PJ's job, but he did finally get $1 raise this week. Is it really enough for the life we'd like to have? No, not even close. But somehow, our bills always get paid, even if late. We always eat. We always have our medications. He will not let us down.

So why do I not trust Him? I have no idea. I do trust him, but not like I should. I have a BAD tendency to let self get in the way. to let DESIRE get in the way. I want a life where we have a home that doesn't leak, a back that allows me to keep the home clean, a car that doesn't go *jerk jerk whine* when you hit 40mph. Not to mention a 2nd vehicle so that I don't have to drag the kids out at 5 am to take PJ to work when I need transportation. But the fact of it is, as much as many people may not agree... none of those things are NEEDS. My house leaks, but only in my bathroom. Nowhere that affects our ability to stay dry. My van is acting up, but it is STILL getting us where we need to go. 2nd vehicle, just a convenience, not a need. The house doesn't get cleaned very well with my back, but at least I can still walk. At least I have a home to need to clean!

So yeah... I guess maybe it's been God smacking me upside the head... no... he's done that alot when I NEED it, but this time it's more Him gently taking me by the hand, and reminding me of just how good I really have it. Reminding me that He loves me, just for me, and will always take care of mine and my family's needs, as long as we are faithful to trust Him and faithful to give back to him what He blesses us with.

Just a thought...

Philippians 4:19
"And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in Glory, by Jesus Christ"
We look at that as supplying our physical needs. But to me, this scripture is telling me God will supply my SPIRITUAL needs. He has already supplied that biggest need "by Jesus Christ" by sending His son to die for us, so that we may inherit the kingdom of Heaven, "His riches in Glory"

Isaiah 58:11:

11 The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.

I think this one speaks for itself. He will take care of us. ALWAYS.

There are so many scriptures that back this up. So I know what I must do. I must learn to trust God, and to be grateful for the blessings which He has bestowed on me and my family, and stop looking for what else He can give me, but better yet, look more for what I can give back. As my old pastor used to say, "You can't out give God" :)

I'll leave you with this wonderful song, by Darrel Evans, one of my all time favorites. It truly speaks to my heart, and I hope it will yours

I'm Trading My Sorrows


Verse
I'm trading my sorrows, I'm trading my shame;
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord.
I'm trading my sickness, I'm trading my pain;
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord.
Refrain
We say yes, Lord, yes, Lord,
yes, yes, Lord,
yes, Lord, yes, Lord, yes, yes, Lord,
yes, Lord, yes, Lord, yes, yes, Lord. Amen.
Bridge
I am pressed but not crushed,
persecuted, not abandoned,
struck down but not destroyed.
I am blessed beyond the curse,
for His promise will endure,
that His joy is gonna be my strength.
Though the sorrow may last for the night,
his joy comes with the morning. (to Verse)