Seriously? 11 Months Already?

It can't be true, can it? My baby is NOT 11 months old already.

Yep, it is. WOW. In 28 days, Nathaniel James will be 1 year old. How did this happen? How did so much time pass by so quickly? Wasn't I just pregnant and miserable? I mean, he was JUST BORN. Why is it the pregnancy goes by SO SLOWLY, but their lives speed by so quickly? I can't believe it. Then, just a couple of weeks after that, my big baby, you know, the one I just had last week, he'll be 8. Yep, 8 years since I became a Mommy. It's a bittersweet thing, celebrating your childrens' birthdays. Every year around this time I start to think on it. I start to wonder just how so much time has passed so quickly. I'll admit, that until this year, I was always so devastated because I just knew I'd never get to experience these ages again. Then God blessed me yet again, at a time in my life when I thought having children was done, with an amazing husband who shared my desire for more children. Now, it really is bittersweet, but Nate is it. No more after him. But on the bright side, I have two amazing boys. I have to choke back the tears even now thinking about it. Where on earth have 8 years gone? So much of it is just a blur. But those first days for both of them are etched vividly in my memory forever. Let's take a stroll, shall we?

June 13, 2000-35 out of 40 Weeks pregnant

Absolutely the MOST wonderful day of my life. This was the day I became Mommy. My husband at the time barely made it here. We were scheduled for a contraction stress test, to be at the hospital at 6am. My hubby made it in at 3am from the road making his living as a trucker. The contractions were already pretty strong, even though at the time I had no idea that's what they were. I just knew my back hurt so bad I couldn't stand to sit, lay, do anything comfortably. They told me my baby was in distress and needed to be born NOW. I was terrified. I barely had time to call my parents, and I was gone to surgery before they got there. At 9:12am, they pulled my beautiful boy out of my womb via C-Section. He didn't cry. It was the best but most terrifying day of my life. I didn't even get to hold him, they whisked him away to the NICU, holding him up for me to see in passing on his way out. 9lbs 2oz, 20 inches. I panicked, so they had to give me a sedative. I remember waking as they rolled me into recovery, with my pastor, youth pastor, and many others from my family all waiting in the hall. I slept. The sedative just knocked me out. Then I remember being awakened to see him as they wheeled me through the NICU on our way to my room. There he laid, with a bucket over his head, tubes everywhere. I touched his tiny, sweet little hand, and he looked at me. I felt this overwhelming sense of peace and joy come over me as I saw that he was ok, just needing a little help to breathe. He knew me :) Right then, it was truly love at first sight. I got to hold him that evening, and try to nurse him. That didn't go well, I pulled his IV out. The next 5 days proved to be very challenging and emotional, but on June 18, Father's Day, we got to bring our precious baby boy home :) And I"ve loved him with all of my heart since. My sweet Justin Ray.

May 26, 2007: 37 Weeks Pregnant

Well, we'd been out half the night at Liz's (sister-in-law) high school graduation. So we slept in a bit Saturday. Around noonish, I woke up, used the restroom, and told PJ to get his watch. No way, he said. Yep... less than 2 minutes. Called my OB, get to the hospital, he said. See, we were scheduled to have a repeat C-Section just 3 days later, on Tuesday the 29th. Nathaniel James wasn't waiting that long! They checked me a couple of times, hooked me up to monitors, and yep, sure enough, I was in early labor. So, off to the OR we went. This time we had enough time to call everyone ahead of time, and they were all there before we went back to the OR :) Even JRay! This time I got really sick with the spinal, but we got it situated. PJ came in, the doc went to work. I felt ALOT of pulling this time. He had a hard time getting that stubborn lil bugger out. At 4:49, I heard the LOUDEST screams I think I've ever heard. And they said his lungs might not be ready *rolls eyes*. It was an unbelievably CALMING sound :) I didn't experience that the first time. They wiped him off, held him up to show me, took him in the next room, weighed him, cleaned, him etc. 10lbs 2oz and 21 inches! WOWSERS! Then, they brought my bundle of love back to me as the doc did my tubal and cleaned up scar tissue, etc. I didn't get to hold him, as my hands were still tied down, but I got to nuzzle him and kiss him, and feel his cheek next to mine. Pure bliss :) Then Daddy took him back to the recovery room to wait for me, and meet the rest of his family. But, alas, by the time the doc finished up with me, and got me back to the recovery suite, he was gone to the NICU. Poor guy had low sugar, and spent the next several hours getting that taken care of. At approx 12:30 am on May 27, I finally got to hold my precious baby boy for the first time. He was soooo calm and at home in my arms, and it felt so right. The next day I got to hold both of my boys in my arms at once. That was when I knew my life was right. I had the perfect family.

And I still do :) I love all my boys, PJ, JRay, and Nate, so much. I really am very very blessed. I don't know how I'd ever survive without any of them. They complete me.