Thursday, May 29, 2008


So, I haven't been blogging lately. Mom's death has really hit me hard the last week. I'm dealing the best I can, but would rather not be dealing at all. I can't explain what it's like to lose my Mommy, my best friend, my mentor. She was everything to me. I can't begin to imagine how I am going to live the rest of my life without her here to guide me through it. I'm trying to get my life back on track and somehow back to "normal", whatever that is. But every day that comes proves to be more difficult than the last. Oh I miss her so very much. Mommy, I love you, I wouldn't wish you out of Heaven for anything, but I just wish I could be there with you. Just to see you, and touch you, and tell you I love you. Oh we never said those words. I know we both knew we felt them, we just never said them. I just want to tell you I LOVE YOU.

Thank you Craig, for the slideshow. Of course I bawled my eyes out both times I"ve watched it. How are we gonna get along without her, big brother? My heart is just breaking.

So, onto updates...

Nate's 1st birthday was Monday. Had a beautiful party setup outside, and right at party time, the skies opened up and the bottom fell out, so it moved inside. I tell myself it was Nana crying because she couldn't be here for it. But I know she's not crying. She's so happy now.

Anyway.. thanks to everyone who came. I really wasn't in the mood, but knew that I needed to do it, so we did. I'd love to say I had a great time, but I'd be lying. But, the kids did. And that's what is important. Nate got so many wonderful gifts. He went to the ped today for his 1 year visit. Got two shots in his leg, then had to go downstairs and get blood drawn from his arm. NOT a good start to the day. We were both bawling. I was NOT prepared for that. He weighed 23lb 6oz and was 29in long. Staying right along the same curve on the growth charts. So that's good. I don't know what his head circumference was, just know that it's staying on the 25th percentile curve. He's got a teenie lil head :) I'll post a slideshow of his birthday party at the end of this post.

JRay also went back to the orthopedic today. We thought he'd get his cast off today, but the doc wants him to wear it for another 2 weeks. Poor guy. It's driving him nutso.

I'm supposed to go back to the doc on the 4th for my bloodwork results, but it's looking like I might have to reschedule due to $$$. PJ's check was VERY short this week. We thought he still had vacation time left when he took a couple of extra days off after mom's funeral to stay with me and help me and just be there for me. We were wrong. So he only had 25 hours on his paycheck. So I know there's just no way I can afford the $30 co-pay right now.

Dad went to mom's appt with Dr Jackson on the 20th. I will just say that he has reaffirmed my doubts in him as a physician. His first words to Dad were along the lines of "If anyone is looking into getting a lawyer, it's a waste of time". Wow. Guilty much? All Dad wanted to know was what her echo said, mostly for our family medical history. What a great guy you are, Kirk Jackson, for being so horrible to the man who'd lost his wife at 53 years old not even a week earlier. Show those true colors.

Anyway, that's all for now I suppose. Don't know what else to say. Just please continue to keep us in your prayers. We're all dealing in our own ways. I'm an introvert, and grieve internally. So don't be offended or upset if I dont' call, or answer your calls. I just want to be alone with my little family right now.

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My Crazy Life

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I am a Christian wife and homeschooling mom of two precious boys. I enjoy photography and spending time with my family, along with any other hobby I can manage to dig my nails into. I'm married to PJ, God's precious gift to me ;) I'm honest, passionate, and find myself falling deeper and deeper in love with my Creator each and every day that passes. I was diagnosed as a Type 1 Diabetic at the age of 10. I chose not to care about my health then, and am paying the price now with multiple complications including kidney damage and neuropathy. I currently reside in Florida, where God led my family in February of 2011, but my heart is, and will forever be, in Alabama.