Closure-Self Esteem

First, let me clarify from the last post something that I posted, and didn't mean it how I posted it. We ARE saved by faith. What was meant in that post is that it is because of convictions that we turn to confess our sins and accept salvation. Through salvation, the "seed" of faith is planted within us, and as we grow in our spiritual walk, that seed (which is our faith) also grows. Are we on the same page now? Good. Let's move on....

Ok. After prayer, and shortly after, a phonecall from Dad, with tons of resources at his fingertips, and lots and lots of scriptures, I have found the scripture that answers it for me.

1 John 3:16-23 (New King James Version)

The Outworking of Love

16 By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. 17 But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?
18 My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. 19 And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him. 20 For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. 21 Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. 22 And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight. 23 And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave us commandment.

So basically, what it boils down to is that if we are walking in faith, and living in the truth, and KNOW we are living in the truth, then there will be no doubt in ourselves. But even in the weakest of moments, when we do doubt ourselves, or as the scripture says, condemn ourselves, God is greater than that doubt, that insecurity. He knows our hearts better than we do. He knows my heart just as well as he knows the heart of the prideful man standing next to me. That within itself should give us comfort in who we are, and help us to be able to boldly stand and speak His name, without fear of persecution. After all, the worst that can happen is death of the flesh, and that just sends us to our Heavenly Father! How is that bad??? And of course, that boils down to having faith, and trusting God wholeheartedly to take care of us, and know that He will reward us, whether we feel worthy of that reward or not.

Paul says it best (as he always does!) in 1 Corinthians 15:9

1 Corinthians 15:9-11 (New King James Version)

9 For I am the least of the apostles, who am not worthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. 10 But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all, yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me. 11 Therefore, whether it was I or they, so we preach and so you believed.

So, whether I feel worthy to be called a child of God, a pastor, a missionary, a teacher, or whatever God has called me to be, or not-I am what God has made me, and what He has called me to be. And that, simply put, is enough. It just doesn't matter what man thinks. God's opinion is the only one that matters :)