Wow-A whole year?

So, I'm not doing well at keeping up with ya'll lately, and I'm sorry! No excuses, just been lazy!

May 14th marked one year since Mommy went home to Jesus. The day proved to be a bit more difficult for me than I thought. God did give me tons of strength, but it's hard. Today marks one year since we buried her. That was the most difficult day of that week, for me. Knowing, that although it was just a shell, and that her beautiful spirit was not there aside-it was so hard to know that when they closed that casket, that was it. It was the last time in THIS life I would lay eyes on her. I wanted to crawl into that casket with her and just have them bury me, too.

Not a day goes by I don't think of her and miss her tremendously. Life slowly gets easier, but when I do stop to think of her, my thoughts wander to that last night I spent with her. When she came over to get a BBQ sandwhich, but we didn't have any slaw to go on it, so she instead got a frozen pizza from me. Daddy was working 2nds that week, so she didn't want to cook for just herself. We stood in my kitchen chatting about nothing, in those M&M PJ's I know own and wear. It's so hard not to have the whole "If only I'd known" mentality. I mean, I'm fortunate to have had that special moment with her, but I would've grabbed her and not let go and told her how much I love her and NEED her in my life.

It is UNREAL to believe that a WHOLE YEAR has passed since that night. My heart is still broken that in those moments that all I want to do is pick up the phone to call her and tell her about the latest exciting news on JRay or Nate, I can't. Yeah yeah, I can tell her, she hears me, blah blah. It is NOT the same, and if you have not lost your BEST FRIEND you can't possibly begin to understand. People always have good intentions with those comments, but for me they just make me angry. I don't want ot hear "she's better off, she would want you to...". I want to hear what a great Mommy/friend/sister/aunt/wife she was. How she changed so many lives by just BEING there for EVERYONE. I want to hear "I can't understand your pain, but know that I love you and am praying for you".

Anyway-I miss her so much. We all do. She was so much more than "Momma". She was EVERYTHING to us. I just want to touch her beautiful face and tell her how much I love her and miss her. Heaven is TOO FAR away.

My Minute of Fame

A few months back, Consumer Reports did a nasty nasty bit on how dangerous babywearing is, because in the last 10 years there have been 22 serious injuries associated with babywearing. A whole 22 in 10 years! WOW! (note sarcasm here) All of which were most likely caused by either parents being negligent in learning how to properly care for their carrier, or caregivers tripping and falling while wearing their baby, which would have been WORSE had the parent simply been holding the baby at the time of the fall, because then they would have gone flying. Anyway, I inserted my 2 cents in a comment on the blog that this was posted on. Imagine my amazement tonight when I get a message from a friend telling me that I'm in the Chicago Tribune! Me, down here in the deep south (AL) being in the Chicago Tribune. What happened was one of the blogs put out by the Tribune quoted me on my comments on the other said blog. Check it out here

So, I had my minute of fame. Even though I have not been babywearing for a couple of months now because of my sever back pain. I did however buy some fabric today to make myself a new carrier, because I do miss having my little monkey on my back when we're out and about, instead of down in the cart or stroller. So who knows, maybe my babywearing days aren't over after all :)

Happy Birthday Mommy!

54 years ago
You came into this world.
A sweet and innocent babe
Into a dark and sinful home.
Each and every year
You celebrated this day
53 times here on earth
And now today, your 54th away.
But 54 is special
It's the best one of them all!
The most perfect gift is given
as you kneel before the Throne.
Heaven's throwing a party
For this special birthday surprise.
For on this one you'll see Jesus
And you'll look into His eyes!
Happy Birthday Momma!
It's the best one of them all!

Love,
Brooke
April 11, 2009

Long Time no See ;o)

Yeah, I know. I'm a slacker. I'm so bad about keeping up with this.

Not much is going on here, really. Just living day to day. PJ still doesn't have a job, but I know that God has a plan and we'll survive :)

I had an all girls' weekend this past weekend with my wonderful in-laws. Mom Mac, Liz, Briana, Jennifer, and I took off to Canton, GA to meet up with Aunt Mary Lynn, Aunt Carol, and Kathryn for Carol's son Christopher's wedding shower. 8 women, 2 hotel rooms, pictures, games, chips, dip, hot wings, LOTS of coffee, and TONS of fun and laughter. All of that equals up to one very sore gut!

I love my in-laws so much. I"m very blessed. My first marriage didn't give me that privilege. So it's lovely to have a mother-in-love that I am PROUD to call Mom :) I can say wholeheartedly that I would NOT have made it through the past year without her. With the cascading avalanche of heartache that has erupted since May, it has been not only her love and compassion, but her guiding words of wisdom and discernment that have kept me grounded. I love you "Mom"! You truly are my other mother! I really truly believe that Momma decided it was safe to leave me in your hands before she gave up her fight to go Home! And if she didn't know it then, she certainly does now :)

A few pics from our girls' weekend.

Jason Gray on Lent

Jason Gray posted this on his Myspace today (and probably Facebook). It's a link to his blog at The Rabbit Room on Lent. I know for me that Lent has never been the forefront of this time of year, and I never really grasped the concept of Lent until this year. I won't lie and say I"m observing it this year, but I have a new look on the entire concept after reading this. He really takes it to a new level that is admirable. For those who don't know, Jason Gray is a Christian artist. When PJ and I worked a local Matthew West, Sanctus Real concert, he was the opening act, and we worked his merchandise table. We had a unique opportunity to get to know him and his wife Taya on a much more personal level than the volunteers at the other tables. It's a night that forever touched me and changed my life. He's got a considerable stutter (although I honestly never once noticed it), and sings about being a "Loser" using the Beatitudes as a foundation. He allows God not only to use his strengths, which are not so much his singing (which is great) as his songwriting, but He gives the Lord his weaknesses, as well. And God has used those weaknesses to push a message of Grace and Love :) I HIGHLY recommend listening to his music, and checking out his bio at Jason Gray Music. PJ and I just fell head over heels for him and his wife at the concert. We received a copy of "All The Lovely Losers", his main cd, for helping. It has become one of our favorite albums! Ya'll know that I deal with severe insecurities. I always have. Jason's story has ministered to me in a way that is unexplainable!

Here's the link to the article. I hope you'll take the time to read it :) I really enjoyed it!
Cheeseburgers, Sin, and Lent

Love ya'll!
Brooke

Remembering and Honoring the Forgotten

I am entering a contest to win $50K for my dream shoot. My biggest dream is to go to D.C. and shoot the Tombs of the Unknowns in Arlington National Cemetery. I want to honor those soldiers, past and present, who have given their lives for our country, yet remain unnamed. I don't mean just those who have given their life literally. There are so many from past wars who left everything to fight for our country, and came home to disrespect and strife. They live under bridges, in wheelchairs, in homeless shelters. They lost their families, their jobs, their homes. So please, won't you help me win this contest? Go to the link below and vote!

Thank you!

Happy Valentine's Day

So I've not been keeping up with the blog lately like I'd hoped to. My apologies! I get so caught up with keeping people up to date on Facebook, I forget my wonderful friends in blog land! I'm SORRY!

First-

I did some Valentine's pics of Nate. Mostly just an excuse to try out my new flash :) I'm loving it btw :) The quality of my images has improved tenfold :) It's amazing what a little lighting can accomplish :)

Next-

We have babies! We have three precious white kitties, born on Feb 12. All are solid white thus far, but we do see one with some gray in its ears, we think.

Momma and babies hours after birth


Right at one day old



We're quite taken by the little sweeties :) But they haven't started getting into everything yet, either LOL.